Suppose you are at a buffet or some gathering with many friends. There are adults, children, and food — lots of food.
You see a child. They are at food line getting their plate as full as they can. When they move away from the line and head towards their seat. You are thinking, don’t drop it. Some of you might think where are this child’s parents.
All thoughts of food disasters, huge spills might go through your mind. Then you hear someone one say, “Jay, hold it steady and even. You got this.”
The person who spoke in this situation used language to express positive expectations. In your mind, it is possible you were thinking about all the different directions that food could go. Obviously, Jay and the person who said something had better plans.
Children and some adults are confident. But when someone lovingly voices their concern about a looming disaster, saying, “Be careful, do not drop that.” Or in other scenarios, lovingly offering backhanded support. “Are you sure you can handle this?” The lack of confidence in those phrases can create a break in self confidence or a bravado of confidence.
The break or the boost in confidence often results in unpredictable consequences. The child may drop it, since they believe it is for drawn conclusion. Or even worse your words could be seen as a challenge. Now, they will show you exactly how much and how quickly they can carry even more.
Pay Attention To Your Thoughts
Notice how often your mind goes to the worse case scenario. Start consciously changing the internal narrative. Gently reframe that thought by imagining the outcome you desire.